The Worst Kiss I Ever Had From a Lady on First Date

Hey folks, i know you all must be interested in knowing fully how this gist goes for real, I’m glad to share one of my craziest experiences have had dating ladies. Alright let me not prolong matters here, for this happened three years ago so i'll just go straight to details.
There's this pretty lady i met at a friend's party, it all went crazy right there, everyone looking dashing and ready to party hard. For real I and my other two friends got to the party not too late just to avoid disappointments for the party girl. Everyone got served with chilled drinks, we all busy talking about the last test we had in school, really tough, but trust me, and you don't want me to tell you all about it in details lol trust me.

 Everyone having fun all the way, DJ busy spinning, cold drinks sipped up by chics and fellas as dance floor gets filled up high invitees. Minutes later two gorgeous ladies arrived at the scene, both looking stunning, at first i didn't notice these two angels but i have this crazy friend who just couldn't get his eyes off pretty girls, you know me, i'm very selective when it comes to people i hangout with. He tapped my shoulder to get my attention and i was like damn, i was quite impressed to kiss the dust but also too high *winks*.
You know me, just can't let pretty things pass me by, in short i got connected with one of this hot ladies and i was like damn life is indeed beautiful. I mean this chic was so hot i just get fascinated the more we communicate, everything about her was charming, her ascent, her complexion (light anyway), b**tylicious, her b**bs were like OMG! You see i don't know how she managed to have those physical qualities but what more could one ask for as a woman to remain physically perfect. But what really killed my moral was her red lips, *yaaiks*,  you need to see those lips, so enticing, so overkilling,  got me fantasizing on how i'm going to grab them gently with my lips when i finally have the go.
Things went  pretty interesting between us both, and then we decided to set out a day for our first date. Yes i could still remember that day was friday, and we were expected to meet up at 6pm at one of the beautiful resturants on the Island (Victoria Island parsay) luckily i just got paid lol . which i'm not gonner mention the name of description for now, because that’s one of the places i do chill out so guys don't track me off lol. I got right there 6:06pm (I'm always late on first dates, don't know why) checked round and round didn't see her, but other people having their moments, so i decided to call her up. Coincidentally, she was right at the entrance trying to come in, sighted me at one of the available table, smiles revealing on her face, looking like a silky gazelle of esteem paradise lol, i just couldn't control myself within 10 seconds of her steps because she was just, just too hot. Hugz shared between us, drinks ordered and we started to have a romantic moment (you know this talk things, guys you know how we do it *winks*), making it lively, as we both smiled, laughed, look into each other's sexy eyeballs and held hands all the way. Ohhhhh, couldn't believe it, but folks, i'm about to tell you the worse part muahahahahahah.....
It was dark already, clouds all gone for the night, stars taking their replacement, and as soon as we realized the atmosphere was getting colder, i checked my time but realized it was 8:20pm, so we decided to roll out. Oh wait, i didn't tell you this crazy part. While we were chatting, it got to a time i didn't listen to everything she was talking but i was so carried with size of her b**bs, concentrated on them, please don't blame me, ladies are just too attractive to we men and they make us misbehave, it's just one of my crazy acts but never mind me lol.. Then she noticed and asked me what i was looking at, i said what? She asked again, i laughed gently and told her i was looking at her buttons :). She said okay, i know she noticed for real, but you know ladies, can't really afford spoiling the good moment.
It was getting late, around ummmmmmm yes 8:20pm and we stepped out for a walk to get a cab.. Just minutes before a cab arrived i could imagine my lips colliding with hers because even looking at it, i could feel the softness right from the little distance between us, it's really insane but some habits just can't be controlled sometimes and just then like the movie i decided to approach her with my lips expecting to experience a French kissing. But funniest and craziest thing was that, i didn't get a French kiss i got a monster kiss during this moment. She began s*cking my lips like vampires do, like babies s*ck their feeder and killing the mood i had, i tried everything i could do to make her quite but didn't know how because she was already high on that, i tried speaking but none, how could I? she was already in control of the whole system of my mouth.(*Jesus take the wheel*) the next thing i did was to tap her on the b*tt*cks. OMG! this was a gaffe, i just couldn't believe a gorgeous queen whom i expected to be perfect in all areas messed up with not knowing how to kiss for real, at a point i thought i was kissing a military soldier. As soon as she let go of my lips i felt my lips were heavier than normal, painful and just couldn't talk normal.
Luckily a cab arrived, and sped off the scene, I got home that night just couldn't talk to anyone, went straight to bed lol. The next morning my lips were swollen checked in the mirror i looked just like a zombie, you just can't imagine what i looked like. When my mum and the rest saw me they were like "yeeeee what is this oooo, ki lo se ete e( what happened to your lips)?" I said that i don't know, maybe it was the weather. Jeeeeez folks, you just can't imagine the pain i went through for kissing a beautiful lady who doesn't know how to KISS for Christ sake. Have you guys had experiences like such on dates? Please comment